Excerpts from the Archives of the Narcissism List - Part 66
Narcissism, Pathological Narcissism, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD),
the Narcissist, and Relationships with Abusive Narcissists and Psychopaths
Listowner: Dr. Sam Vaknin
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1. Interview with Reader’s House
The contemporary tsunami of entitled grandiose narcissism preceded the emergence of social media and has been their main driver. Nothing has changed since the 1980s as far as our understanding of pathological narcissism, both overt and covert. But currently narcissism is no longer reviled, but is legitimized and lauded as a positive adaptation.
There is also a confluence between victimhood and identity movements and certain traits of narcissism: antagonism, negative affectivity, entitlement, and fantastic self-inflation and self-enhancement, for example.
What are some misconceptions about narcissists and their victims that you frequently encounter?
There are too many to enumerate, alas. There is a conflation of narcissism and psychopathy (narcissists don’t gaslight or future fake, for example). There is an aggrandizement of victims of narcissistic abuse (“superempaths” and other such nonsense). There is the overwhelming emergence of charlatans with and without academic degrees who proclaim themselves experts on narcissism with zero track record in the field, are believed by the gullible and the dumb (the vast majority of the population), and proceed to spread a terrifying amount of deleterious misinformation online. This is just the tip of this ominous iceberg. The online scene is a cesspool.
How can someone differentiate between a person with narcissistic traits and someone who has a full-blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
People diagnosed with the personality disorder suffer from dissociation (memory gaps), cannot tell the difference between reality and fantasy (impaired reality testing), compulsively and coercively seek attention (narcissistic supply), lack affective empathy, are unable to relate to other people as external and separate from them (introjection), and so on. NPD is a serious mental illness.
People with a narcissistic style are merely obnoxious, exploitative, thuggish, and repulsive (or superficially charming and irresistibly attractive). They enjoy being the life of the party but will not be obsessed with it.
What are the most effective strategies for victims of narcissistic abuse to heal and rebuild their sense of self?
They must go no contact with the narcissist to the maximum extent possible. The next step is to silence the narcissist’s internalized (introjected) hostile and critical voice (thus reacquiring one’s unfettered access to reality), and then to individuate: regain one’s purloined mature and adult identity. It is a long and arduous process, but with the proper investment and commitment, and the right professional guidance, the prognosis is good.
Given your extensive work in psychology, philosophy, and international affairs, do you see any parallels between narcissistic behaviour in individuals and patterns in global politics?
Collective narcissism is clinically indistinguishable from pathological narcissism in the individual: fantasy, self-enhancement (inflation of self-concept), entitlement (or victimhood), attention seeking, externalized aggression, a pronounced lack of empathy, negative affectivity (hatred, rage, envy), and so on.
What advice would you give to aspiring authors who wish to write about complex psychological and social issues based on both research and personal experience?
Do not write or assume or hypothesize anything based on your personal experience. Freud’s worst moments and most inane “insights” emanated from his grandiose conviction that introspection is the way to gain universally applicable knowledge. His most significant contributions emerged from his plagiarism of other people’s work (his “research”).
2. Interview With Novelist Plus
Given your extensive background in both finance and psychology, how do you believe the economic structures of the twenty-first century contribute to the rise of what you describe as the mental epidemic of narcissism?
Changes in human consciousness precede, predate, and are reflected in sociocultural and economic transformations. It is the tidal wave of narcissism that gave rise to our current civilization and capitalist institutions, not the other way around.
Naturally, technologies and spaces molded themselves to cater to the psychological needs of an increasingly more narcissistic population and to echo its clinical features. Social media are a prime example of this process. So is modern finance.
In the tenth edition of Malignant Self-love, you reflect the new criteria in the DSM 5-TR; what significant shifts in the clinical understanding of Narcissistic Personality Disorder have you observed since your first edition in 1997?
Even in its most recent iteration, the DSM is way behind the times and current scholarship regarding Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). It is still largely categorical, provides a list of diagnostic criteria and gives rise to comorbidities (co-occurrences of ostensibly disparate mental health issues in the same individual).
A belated attempt to transition into a more flexible alternative dimensional model has been relegated to the the back pages of this massive tome.
Consequently, it is the ICD-11 that is the yardstick for contemporary clinical practice. It revolutionized the way we perceive personality disorders by subsuming them under a single diagnostic category and by emphasizing traits and structured evaluations in clinical settings.
NPD is no longer considered a mere mental health issue or a standalone diagnosis. It is an amalgam of heredity, dysfunctional familial backgrounx, adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), and societal and cultural factors.
You describe the narcissist as an actor in a monodrama who does not actually love himself; how does this internal "vacated" world differ from the popular public perception of narcissism as mere vanity?
Narcissists are perceived as haughty because their pathology is compensatory: it is intended to repress and disguise deep-seated shame, envy, rage, grief, and inferiority. The narcissist is an absence, masquerading as a presence (a “black hole” or an empty schizoid core).
The narcissist is really brittle and fragile, susceptible to the intrusions of a harsh and unforgiving reality. Pathological narcissism is a fantasy defense.
As long as the narcissist is able to secure the uninterrupted flow of narcissistic supply, he is insulated from and unaware of these seething negative affects.
But when there is a dearth of attention (in states of collapse or mortification), the narcissist becomes dysregulated, decompensated, and acts out, exactly like the borderline patient.
How has your experience as a columnist and foreign correspondent influenced your ability to synthesise complex psychological data into a methodological framework for a general audience?
I am a professional author, so I know how to render complex material accessible to laypersons. But, in psychology, my main audience is in academe and among mental health practitioners. I do not feel the need to dumb down or avoid jargon.
You mention that narcissism is "contagious" and affects those in daily contact with the sufferer; what are the most common long-term psychological effects you have observed in people who were raised by narcissistic parents?
The impact that narcissistic parents have on their children crucially depends on whether the parents are predominantly overt or covert.
The majority of offspring of narcissistic parents grow up to be normal, healthy, mature, balanced, and functioning adults.
A small fraction of children of overt narcissists (especially sons of such fathers) would likely become grandiose, entitled, and dysempathic.
A much larger proportion of the progeny of covert narcissists (especially mothers) tend to grow up to be diagnosed with NPD and other mental health issues (such as depression and anxiety).
Like most other victims of complex trauma (CPTSD), such children somatize their condition across the lifespan (experience psychosomatic symptoms). Their relationships lack depth and intimacy and their attachment styles are insecure.
With over 100 million views on your YouTube channels, how has the transition from written text to digital video impacted the way you engage with victims and sufferers of personality disorders?
My videos are essays. They are not good exemplars of visual media. I am still highly textual and frontal. So, the only thing to have changed is that I talk to a webcam rather than clatter on a keyboard.
In your short fiction, do you find yourself exploring the same themes of the False Self and dilapidated inner worlds, or do you use creative writing as an escape from your clinical work?
My short fiction is another avenue of exploring the dystopian inner landscape of modern Man (and woman).
Mental illness is a social construct. It is when we internalize external pathologies that we become sick. We are but a resonance of our environment, a mere vibe.
My short fiction documents this gradual decay, the inexorable descent into our embedded hell even as we desperately grasp at everything and everyone to lift us into a fantastic heaven.
Your book is based on decades of correspondence; how has the advent of social media changed the "language" of narcissistic abuse compared to the emails and letters you received in the late nineties?
Social media is not about communication. Is it about impression management, spectacle, oneupmanship, narcissistic supply, and escapism. My correspondence continues apace via email.
You discuss the "tyrannical and delusional False Self"; in your view, is it ever possible for a person with a rigid personality disorder to undergo true transformation, or is management of the condition the only realistic goal?
How can anyone say, in good faith, that a personality disorder can be cured or healed? What are we except for and apart from our personalities, disordered as they might be?
We can learn to behave more prosocially, less abrasively or obnoxiously. We can be tamed to not act on our worst impulses, hypervigilance, paranoid ideation, and phobias. We can modify our modus operandi in interpersonal relationships. Gain more insight, become more self-aware, more efficacious. But that is it. Nothing more profound, fundamental, or long-lasting is achievable.
How do you balance the roles of an academic professor and a public intellectual when dealing with a topic as emotionally charged and "vile" as narcissistic abuse?
I don’t. I keep failing, like all my colleagues and other public intellectuals. It is not possible to deal with such emotionally-charged and morally challenging topics objectively, let alone neutrally. This is not physics (in which I have my PhD) and even in physics, we are infested with biases and prejudices and proclivities and personal enmities. We are all human, after all.
What specific writing tips would you give to aspiring authors who are attempting to tackle dense, technical subjects like psychology or economics while trying to remain accessible to the layperson?
If you cannot explain it to a high school dropout in simple terms using a truncated vocabulary, it means that you have a lot more to learn about your field. It is your ignorance that hampers your capacity to teach, not your erudition or expertise.
Based on your prolific career across multiple genres and formats, what is your primary piece of advice for aspiring authors who want to use their writing to create a global impact or address a societal "plague"?
If your main motivating aim is to create a global impact, write nothing. You are on the wrong path.
Never address a societal anything, plague or otherwise.
Discuss your pain, the world through your eyes, the lens and prism of your experiences, and the sum of your suffering.
The only universal messages are idiosyncratically individual and private. You reach maximum effect the narrower is your focus on yourself.
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Lasch - The Cultural Narcissist
Excerpts from Archives of the Narcissism List
Narcissism Frequently Asked Questions
Internet: A Medium or a Message?
A World in Conflict and Transition
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