The most modern and sophisticated
corporation is transformed into a fiefdom when a dictatorial
person is at the helm.
“It surprises me that even with
all the leadership resources, tools and techniques on how to
get the best out of staff, there are still some bosses around
today that use a very autocratic, domineering and abusive
approach when leading their team,” comments Annemarie Cross, a
career and workplace counselor based in Melbourne, Australia
(www.annemariecross.com).
“They seem to
take out their need for complete and total control on their
staff by following a very unproductive, unhealthy, (and in
most workplaces), illegal approach.Working in an abusive and
confrontational environment with a boss who is making life an
absolute misery for you is stressful. Prolonged anxiety is
unhealthy, and should be avoided at all costs.”
Unfortunately, reality and circumstances frequently
conspire, negating any thought of a move. People become
trapped, forcing them to develop coping mechanisms unique to
their situation. In fact, employees often devote more energy
to placating their boss than fulfilling their tasks.
So what advice does Cross offer if you’re subordinate
to someone who regards their own judgment as infallible, and
refuses to consider the expertise of others?
“If you
are feeling stifled in your current role one option is to
increase your exposure within other areas of the company,” she
answers. “Establishing and growing your professional network
within your place of employment, particularly with key
decision-makers, is something you should be currently doing
(as part of your long-term career plan). Get known and
respected for your expertise outside your own department by
involving yourself in special company projects that involve
other departments.”
Establish yourself as a
trouble-shooter, urges Cross, become the person others go to
when a problem arises. That way you’ll ensure that your
expertise is utilized even if the boss fails to appreciate it.
And if your employer neither values nor rewards
effort, she recommends you address this shortcoming by
expressing congratulatory words to deserving colleagues.
“You may also suggest a new initiative acknowledging
staff and teams for projects well done, and publish these
success stories within the company newsletter.”
In
extreme cases of abuse it may be necessary to document
incidents, and report them to the human resources or personnel
departments. If you embark on this course of action, Cross
suggests that you recruit allies and proceed en masse mindful
that almost any form of abuse in the workplace is illegal.
“One of the most important lessons I think anyone can
learn is that you can’t control another person’s behavior or
actions, but you can certainly control how you are affected by
it. So a boss’s actions and behavior may be deplorable and
unacceptable, but rather than becoming a victim, you can take
control and decide that you will not let it affect you
personally, mentally or emotionally.”
A bad boss’s
negative influence can reach beyond the workplace and into
your home, affecting relationships within the family. You need
to find ways to stop this kind of intrusion—start by defining
for yourself the boundary that must exist between your
professional life and your personal life—the latter should
never be sacrificed to satisfy the former.
Understanding the psychological makeup of a difficult
employer is a critical first step when formulating a survival
strategy.
You be the Boss:
Annemarie Cross believes an employee should persist in
their attempts to win over the boss, no matter how unlikely a
prospect that seems: “Working hard and contributing your
expertise to ensure goals and objectives are met may be all
you need to gain the trust and respect of your boss.”
She recommends the following:
- Don¹t let unacceptable behavior wear you down.
- Concentrate on doing your job well.
- Develop key alliances and relationships with others in
the organization, particularly among decision-makers.
- Involve yourself in special projects outside of your own
department so you become known for your expertise throughout
the organization.
- Find a mentor, someone you trust that will support you
if your boss is incapable of filling that role.
- Remain strong in your convictions and continue to
deliver great results, you’re sure to reap rewards.
If you have the misfortune of working for a
narcissist, however, expect nothing but grief.
Paranoid, sadistic, pathologically jealous, and
incapable of empathy, a narcissist objectifies people and
treats them as expendable commodities to be discarded after
use.
“To support his sense of uniqueness, greatness
and cosmic significance, he is often hyper- vigilant,”
explains Sam Vaknin PhD, (www.narcissistic-abuse.com) author of Malignant
Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited, (available at Amazon.com) and
an Israeli philosopher currently living in Macedonia.
The narcissist, like the sadist is a pain artist. The
difference between them lies in their motivation. The
narcissist tortures to punish and to reassert superiority,
omnipotence, and grandiosity.
But both are equally
adept at finding the chinks in armor.
Dr.Vaknin warns
that narcissistic employers frequently display an enlightened
interest in the welfare of their victims. They skillfully play
the role of mentor or father figure, exhibit charm and bestow
rewards, but always with nefarious intent.
“The
narcissist infiltrates defenses,” says Dr.Vaknin, “shatters
self-confidence, confuses and confounds, demeans and debases.
They humiliate and insult both privately and in public.
Luckily, the narcissist’s attention span is short and their
resources and energy limited. In constant, effort-consuming
and attention-diverting pursuit of narcissistic supply, they
let their victims go, usually before they’ve suffered
irreversible damage.”
Cold comfort maybe, but it’s a
reminder that even the worst boss is survivable.
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